final post

well, i know that i haven't posted on here in quite some time, but that is because i got a new blog!
visit me at http://baileyyfrancess111.tumblr.com/
i update it much more frequently too :)

well, i have very many random things to discuss today. all are relevant, but not at all related except for the fact that they are all occuring in my life.

1) boifriend. yes. jonathan david anderson. he is my homeslice, and i very much adore him. he and i have been friends since december, and have been dating for a month. he is a very dear friend and i love talking to him for hours and hours on end. we have many wonderful things planned for the future...not details like marriage, of course, but various activities (zoo, picnic, camping, etc) that we would like to do together. also, we are planning on running away to scandinavia. yes. with our sons, benton and brentford (a stuffed dog and a stuffed bear........)

2) miami. this is my dream college, and quite possibly where i will be going. we'll see what God decides but i don't want to go anywhere else. i am currently waiting on my financial aid letter from them so that i know how much cash they shall give me. then i will work, work, work on outside scholarships. and i do mean work. like, this is my dream, and i want to do anything to achieve it.

3) graduation. less than two months away. oh. my. goodness. EXCITEMENT! my graduation party will be the day of (may 30). yayyayyayyayyay!!!

4) work. after a series of rather difficult events, i have come to hate one of my co-workers (yes, i really DO hate someone). i desperately want to quit, and i will begin looking for an alternative when i have an opportunity. i know that by summer i will be gone. at least i hope to God i will be gone.

SIX DAYS!!!

i'm not doing a very good job of keeping my resolutions. specifically the ones involving journaling and blogging. nope, not happening. well, i guess this will count, despite the fact that it's just a stupid post, all about my inabilities to communicate with an invisible audience. ah well. that is my life. all complaining, no acting. hehe.

1984. that is the topic of the project that i'm supposed to be working on at this time. nope, that's not happening either. we have to do chapters one and two. i have had the ideas of interpretive dancing and making a huge journal. for some odd reason, my partner dislikes the idea of the interpretive dance. i was quite excited about the part of the chapter where he fixes his neighbor's sink. just a thought.

i was called a hippie today. brava! i was going of on people who conform. the person who called me a hippie was also the child who was experiencing sock lust over my monster's inc socks. =D

9 days til lou comes. i'm SO excited! penguie is also very excited. how nice for my one best friend to be excited to meet my other best friend who he has never ever met before. he is very determined to meet her.

taco bell says hello. and good bye.

i can't wait to document lou's visit. it will be a beautiful thing.

unrealistic expectations...

-after a long day at work and the exhaustivity of the holidays, by far the best ever thing is curling up with sleepytime tea and reading a book
-snuggies are cozy
-despite hate-filled thoughts toward miley cyrus, after hearing "7 things i hate about you" today for the first time, i realized how perfectly her horrid voices sings of sillyface
-"penguie" doesn't give completely wonderful hugs,but i still love him. we are optimistic buddies foreverz!
-i wanna learn ukulele
-waking up at 9 and going to work at 2 makes the day seem super-duper short
-i will see louisa in 15 days =D
-i need to call sillyface to tell him the 7 things i hate/like about him

-mild rant about sillyface:
a) he and i will never logically work
b) unfortunately we are both horribly physically attracted to one another
c) our brains are telling us "no", our bodies are like magnets.............
d) i need to stop liking him because there is no hope.
e) i would much rather like "alpaca", and i do...just whenever anyone mentions sillyface, i start thinking about him and start to be sad.
THE END

-seeing someone read is a completely foreign experience to most people at my place of employment

-new year's resolutions (i will possibly be expanding this list in the near future)
*learn ukulele
*write in journal at least 3 times a week
*blog with every journal entry
*make one more wonderful friend
*see mountains
*become less (openly) boy crazy
*buy an energy drink
*develop a reputation at college
*ask an amazing guy to prom
*listen to more indie music
*attend more concerts!!!

-i'm finally beginning the realize the beauty of my hands (AWKWARD?)
-bluegrass charlie brown music=epic!

tumble dryer

Christ is Born!
Glorify Him!

yet another Christmas here and gone. sad to think about. didn't even feel like the holiday. one week until the new year. 2010. how weird. i'm getting old.

i'm also lonely. for a man. don't get me wrong, there are plenty of guys who like me, and i like plenty of guys (kind of an understatement) but i never like the guys who like me, and the guys that i like don't even pay attention to me/realize that i exist. i miss the security of "sillyface"...but it wasn't secure. it was nice to have someone there, but i never knew when we would next talk, and that was always really difficult. it's so weird...maybe i have super high expectations, but i just can't find anyone. like, i can't find anyone to date, much less my prince charming. when will i ever find him? i guess what i'm trying to say is that i'm very discouraged. i rarely get "that kind" of attention from guys and when i do, it's either insincere, or else they are autistic or just someone who is an amazing friend and i wouldn't want to ruin that/ i don't have feelings for them.

now, in this society, at least when it comes to high school dating, it seems like more and more, you don't have to be infatuated by a person before you date them. you can just think they're cute, or even not think anything positive at all about the person. why are these things normal?it's ridiculous to date someone, to have an intimate, sincere relationship with anyone unless you really know that person and are sincerely determined to spend the rest of your life together.

don't get me wrong...i love going to movies, starbucks, and so forth with guys. it's a lot of fun. just as long as it's only that. a cup of coffee. a movie. a chat to better understand the other person. all of these are wonderful things. buttt....it seems like it's more acceptable for my friends/acquaintances to do that with someone they barely know and call it a date, let's make this a habit.

i know my writing skills are sub-par, so let me just make this clear to you: i HATE the idea of dating on a whim, or dating just to date. it makes my spine crawl! i don't know why i found it necessary to say that, but there are have it, folks: i'm lonely, discouraged and upset with the idea of dating just to date.

when i finally find someone who truly loves me for the crazy, dumb, insane person that i am, and when we start dating, it's gonna be sincere. i know it. i won't be able to dispel this lonliness with just anyone. it's gonna have to be someone very special. i hate being mature. but i shouldn't be discouraged because some day my prince will come. i may meet him in a few years, or i may turn around tomorrow and realize that it's somebody who's been there all along.

i'm also tired of being the girl who's ignored for being the "good girl". the modest one who honestly tries not to flirt or do anything wrong. i hate being pushed away because i have morals. i know, those guys aren't worth my time, but it still hurts because they're usually the only ones who pay attention to me. at least until they start talking to me and realize that i won't give them what they want, and don't even want to talk about it. all of the good guys, the ones who i truly admore and want to spend my time with, well, either i don't have feelings for them, or they don't realize that i just wanna be their friend, in my own, creepy manner. i don't know. i'm usually not great at articulating, so sorry that this is just a random jumble of nothingness. but that's how my brain feels right now. like it went through a tumble dryer.

happy 2nd day of Christmas!

happy november!

random pictures of the fall
happy family days
i love fall

i love my family