what's with the picture?

well, i have discovered that my more interesting posts involve me just sitting down and writing random things about my life. the down side to this plan is that my posts have no structure. they don't have a specific form or topic for the day. so, bear with me. i'm still trying to figure this whole thing out.

my heart hurts. i miss you lots and lots. you know who you are. i hope you're reading this and missing me too.

i'm listening to the song "vanilla twilight" by owl city right now. it makes me wanna cry cuz it's so sweet. i'm very glad that i finally listened to it though. for a while i wasn't interested in listening to this song for the silly reason that the title has the word "twilight" in it. wow...how lame is that? now i'm in love with the song! thanks for making me listen to it, jo!

"as many times as i blink, i'll think of you tonight"

i have to leave for orientation at work in an hour. i'm a little nervous about it, but it should be an interesting experience. at least i'll be making some money, right?

so, something that i've been experiencing recently: denying how old i am. i mean, this is so silly! i'm not old enough to lie about my age, and yet, as long as i'm not talking to a hot guy, i'm very tempted to tell a fib. i was at target with my mom last night and i kept talking about the "jonas" backpack and the hello kitty shirts...i think she got rather sick of me asking for all of these ridiculous silly things. she asked me why i was acting so dumb, and that was when i realized that i keep acting like this because i don't feel like a senior. i don't feel like i should be 18 in less than a year. i feel like a should be 12. that seems so much more logical to me (SPOCK!). anyway, i DO feel kinda dumb in a way for acting like that and freaking out over jonas and hsm and hello kitty when i truly think it's all so terribly silly. i just wanna feel 12 again. however, so far 17 has been my favorite age. i distinctly remember hating being 12...i don't remember specifics, but i do know that it wasn't my favorite age. so why do i keep wanting to be 12 if this is the best year of my life so far, and 12 was very far from that? i keep asking myself this: what is so magical about 12 that makes me want to be that age again? i'm thinking it may have something to do with the fact that louisa still lived close(ish) at the time. in those days, it was unusual if we saw each other less than 3 times a week. i DO miss those days. i never thought that it would end. never for a moment guessed that two days after my 14th birthday, i would be given the worst news of my life. wow, i feel nostalgic right now!

i still have about 8 cans of mountain dew. just drop by if you wanna chat over a drink of mountain dew!

pressure

so, this whole blog thing intrigues me. i can't figure out how to work it into my life. yes, i write posts...in a notebook, intending to post it on here asap. by the time i realize that i have a blog waiting to be typed and posted, it's too late. i'm not in the same mood as i was when i originally wrote it. and yes, that makes a difference. all the difference in the world. if i'm depressed or sad one afternoon and i write this wonderful blog expressing precisely what i'm feeling and i have every intention of posting it in the vast unknown of the world wide web...then i get home and suddenly i feel pretty, witty and gay, i have no desire to describe to the world my deepest, darkest feelings. i mean...really!

so now the pressure is on. my brother recently acquired a blog and i see him typing, typing, typing all the time. why must a feel this pressure to post a blog? i mean, i don't do it, i don't do it, right? who cares whether i have 7 or 3,967 posts...no one reads this thing anyway. so, no one's counting and no one cares...or DO you??? so this is a desperate post...must blog, must blog, must blog! blog zombie (wow, i'm lame, lol!)

in more recent and probably more interesting news, my toe nails are painted pink. not princess pink...hot, hot, HAWT pink! and i mean HHHHHOTTTTT! like i see steam coming off of my cute, little toesies!

louisa's hoody is hangin on the wood rocker...i miss her bunches and bunches and she hasn't even been on the plane for 2 hours! i need to clean the spare room...it's a mess. i have a feeling that our dorm in college will never, ever be clean, lol! how silly we are. i have like 10 cans of mountain dew upstairs that i will have to drink by myself now that louisa is gone. since you should never drink alone, does anyone want to come and share? just wondering! even if you live in brazil...that would be better than drinking all of that pop all by my little old lonesome!

i finished my lunch, so now i must take some dirty laundry downstairs and then go clean that horrid room. so, good bye to all of you beautiful people!

A Glimpse At My Life Right Now

listening to: legos, conversation, bird chatter

wanting: Louisa to hurry up and call back

needing: lots and lots of sleep

happening now: unwinding from a stressful day, putting my feet up, drinking coffee

wishing for: prince charming, no headache, a lovely thunderstorm

just finished: "the last olympian" by rick riordan

can't wait: till dark

wearing: jeans, black and white striped shirt under orange tank, scarf, no socks

current toe-nail color: blue

movie recently finished: ocean's 12

woke up: too early

thinking about: senior year, lou's visit, graduation, guys, the future

one thing i don't want to deal with in the future: pimples

if no one was around right now, i would:wear shorty shorts and a tank, watch a good movie, eat lots of ice cream, go to bed early WITHOUT doing the dishes

if i could eat one thing right now, it would be: a can of regular pringles chips

one thing i will never do: date a vampire...werewolves all the way!

Pascha!!!

This is the sermon that is preached in every church around the waorld, every year at Pascha. It was written by St. John Chrysostom (347-407, the Archbishop of Constantinople). Christ is Risen!

Are there any who are devout lovers of God?

Let them enjoy this beautiful bright festival!
Are there any who are grateful servants?

Let them rejoice and enter into the joy of their Lord!
Are there any weary from fasting?

Let them now receive their due!
If any have toiled from the first hour, let them receive their reward.
If any have come after the third hour,let them with gratitude join in the feast!
Those who arrived after the sixth hour,let them not doubt; for they shall not be short-changed.
Those who have tarried until the ninth hour,let them not hesitate; but let them come too.
And those who arrived only at the eleventh hour,let them not be afraid by reason of their delay.
For the Lord is gracious and receives the last even as the first.

The Lord gives rest to those who come at the eleventh hour,even as to those who toiled from the beginning.
To one and all the Lord gives generously.

The Lord accepts the offering of every work.

The Lord honours every deed and commends their intention.
Let us all enter into the joy of the Lord!
First and last alike, receive your reward.

Rich and poor, rejoice together!
Conscientious and lazy, celebrate the day!

You who have kept the fast, and you who have not,rejoice, this day, for the table is bountifully spread!
Feast royally, for the calf is fatted.

Let no one go away hungry.

Partake, all, of the banquet of faith.

Enjoy the bounty of the Lord's goodness!
Let no one grieve being poor,for the universal reign has been revealed.
Let no one lament persistent failings,for forgiveness has risen from the grave.
Let no one fear death,for the death of our Saviour has set us free.
The Lord has destroyed death by enduring it.

The Lord vanquished hell when he descended into it.

The Lord put hell in turmoil even as it tasted of his flesh.
Isaiah foretold this when he said,"You, O Hell, were placed in turmoil when he encountering you below."
Hell was in turmoil having been eclipsed.

Hell was in turmoil having been mocked.

Hell was in turmoil having been destroyed.

Hell was in turmoil having been abolished.

Hell was in turmoil having been made captive.
Hell grasped a corpse, and met God.

Hell seized earth, and encountered heaven.

Hell took what it saw, and was overcome by what it could not see.
O death, where is your sting?

O hell, where is your victory?
Christ is risen, and you are cast down!

Christ is risen, and the demons are fallen!

Christ is risen, and the angels rejoice!

Christ is risen, and life is set free!

Christ is risen, and the tomb is emptied of its dead.
For Christ, having risen from the dead,is become the first-fruits of those who have fallen asleep.
To Christ be glory and power forever and ever. Amen!

my siblings in church before the procession

sophie holding a candle as we process around the church

cassia. she slept through the entire service, but conveniently enough, woke up just in time to eat candy

catherine. we were all having too much fun!

aidan cheesing it up

our robed splendor~holy friday at a glance

antiphon 15, one of the most beautiful hymns of holy friday:


TODAY HE WHO HUNG THE EARTH UPON THE WATERS IS HUNG ON THE TREE.

THE KING OF THE ANGELS IS DECKED WITH A CROWN OF THORNS.

HE WHO WRAPS THE HEAVENS IN CLOUDS IS WRAPPED IN THE PURPLE OF MOCKERY.

HE WHO FREED ADAM IN THE JORDAN IS SLAPPED ON THE FACE.

THE BRIDEGROOM OF THE CHURCH IS AFFIXED TO THE CROSS WITH NAILS.

THE SON OF THE VIRGIN IS PIERCED BY A SPEAR.

WE WORSHIP YOUR PASSION, O CHRIST.

SHOW US ALSO YOUR GLORIOUS RESURRECTION.

the cross and the kouvouklion (tomb)

sophie wearing the choir robes. we only had to wear them for holy friday, and she HATED every second of it!

the blasted organ

sophie showing her disgust for the robes

the church

Pascha is tomorrow. i'm so excited! kali anastasi (blessed resurrection)!!!!

some play pictures (april 2 and 3)

scary shaub...enough said

jenny took this while i was getting my hair done

kelly and i trying to take a picture. the two creeps lurking in the back are travis and shaub!

kelly and i at the cast party

i gots me some yellow shoes :)

k, that last post was far too embarrassing. I promise I will never, ever, ever post another blog while I’m suffering an emo moment. Promise! Unless it’s relevant, of course.

Ok, holy week is this week. Thankfully, holy week this year happens to coincide with high school spring break. I still have college, but it’s great to be away from high school so that I can actually attempt to make some spiritual progress. This lent has proven most difficult for me. I think it may be because I have a little more freedom this year. Obviously, I’m loving my independence, but to be honest, it has been difficult when it comes to my spiritual life, especially fasting. I mean, I don’t have mom holding my hand or breathing down my neck. I do think that this will be good in the long run. I should get used to my independence so that when I am truly independent I don’t go crazy and lose everything.


On another note, I can’t wait for pascha this year. Although it’s always a joyful time of year, it will be marvelous to here the service in English and with music that I’ve heard my entire life. Being an adopted greek has many positive aspects, and honestly I love it, but how am I supposed to grow spiritually if I can’t understand or pray along with the priest. It’s only logical, but not everyone sees it as the converts see it. I mean, I’ve always referred to the holy day as “pascha” which is the greek word for “Passover”. So, in a greek church, what do they call it? They don’t use the greek word that every convert uses. They refer to it as “easter”. No, this day is so much more wonderful. It cannot and should not be called the same thing as a pagan holiday. When I think of easter I think of rabbits and eggs. it’s just not as wonderful as pascha. Anyway, enough with the rant.


My happiest moment this week was purchasing my bright yellow sandals. Every time I look at them I smile. They make me happy! Of course, anything yellow tends to give me that sunshiny feeling. Also, they will clash beautifully with my blue pascha dress :P I admit…my outfits the true reason of why I am so excited about pascha. Superficial? Yes. Vain? Yes. Totally me? Of course! How could I ever stray away from vanity and superficiality, my two strongest character traits?


So, despite the gloomy countenance of the outdoors, the pile of homework that simply sits and stares, and even despite the looming school week, I can honestly say that I cam both happy and content. Yes, those two feelings have made a rare appearance, and I’m thankful.